Imposter syndrome, low self-worth and not feeling good enough: How to build confidence
Do you have really high standards for yourself, a bit of a perfectionist? Experience imposter syndrome? Or worry about what other people thing of you?
This is perfectly normal! So many of us feel the same and not only do I support so many people with low self-esteem and self-worth, but it's also my own journey and I've had to make is a daily practice to build confidence.
When we lack self belief or self-worth, it comes at a cost. We people please, we try to get validation from others, we put our own needs at the bottom of the list. I've been there and I have to make it an ongoing practice to keep getting back on track when the confidence wobbles. I feel so grateful to now have the tools to be able to do this, and it's my mission to share these with as many people as possible. We deserve to enjoy life and not just survive it.
Here's an AHA moment...
That voice that is saying you're not good enough - it's just a thought, a familiar story. It's made up of things you heard and took on years ago. A lot of what we thing other people think of us is actually that same thought and story playing on repeat. Our subsoncious minds love the famiiar hand consistency, so it keeps pulling you back to act like that person.
If you believe "I'm the shy one", you'll ohold back, and this "proves" the thought. If you think "I'm not good enough for a loving relationship" or "I'm not experienced enough" - you'll find evidence to support this (our brains have a filter, the RAS, which seeks out whatever it thinks is important). Think about a car you have just bought and then you see it everywhere - ths is the RAS in action.
Here's the aha moment.... Thoughts are just stuff we make up, we have the power to change our thoughts. The story playing on repeat in your head can change. You can instantly build new neural pathways to change the way you think, feel and act. I see this every day.
So, do you want to start changing your internal story right now? Because you are the author of your story, not anyone else.
How to stop the "not good enough" vioce: Name it, Tame it, Don't sharme it
Name it. Catch the thought and call it out. say it out loud "I'm not good enough at this" "What will they think of me"? We can't change what we are not aware of - so become aware of your subconsious programming (the inner critical voice).
Tame it. As whose voice is it really? A teacher? A parent? An old boss? Then challenge it. Is this true, or just familiar?
Don't shame it. This one is really important. Don't tell yourself "I shouldn't hink like this" or "why am I doing this again?". That's beating yourself up twice! Make it a bit silly instead and give the voice a name. Let's call it Brenda (sorry Brenda's out there!). "Thanks for piping up again, Brenda. Same old boring story... bore off. I've got a different message for me today". A bit of humour takes the sting out of it.
Going deeper: Recognise and Remember
This is the transformation I help people with in my four session Recognise and Remember package, this has been designed using my own experience and hundreds of client coaching and hypnotherapy sessions.
Recognise: We get curious about how you talk to yourself and how you hold yourself back. Yes, it's actually you holding yourself back (said with love!). Once you understand what's been going on under the surface, your subconsious programming, you can see why you act in line with the identity you think you deserve.
Remember: We go back to who you were before all the societal programming and the things you picked up from other people. You were born unique and special and you are allowed to feel good about who you are.
With coaching and hypnotherapy, we reprogramme your mind to match the true you. Many clients feel a shift in the first session as we work in a way that creates quick and lasting change. Your subconscious mind which controls 90-95% of everything we do, our thoughts, habits and automatic actions, is the key to making these changes which is why a combined coaching and hypnotherapy approach is so powerful.
Ready to feel better about you? You deserve to invest in yourself and we don't have to stuggle by ourselves.
I can help with some free downloads on my website, plus a free wellbeing hub on YouTube.
If you want to book a session or free chat, click here.
Comments